whew...

Just got home from the hospital tour with LJ. It was really really nice, and quite informative. Private birthing rooms... jacuzzi tubs, and the couch turns into a bed for the dads. Very nice. I think we've decided that he's going to be in the room, and he'll be the one staying the night at the hospital with me and the baby. I still want my mom and sister there while I give birth, I think. I just want it calm in there, and with everyone disliking everyone else... I just dont know. I know that if someone is sleeping, I will be pissed...I mean obviously they'll be sleeping at night, but since I'm being induced, its like 12 hours that they can stay awake. I'm not worried about my mother sleeping, but I swear to God, if LeAnne or LJ start to sleep, their asses will be in the freggin waiting room. Fact.

After the tour was over, LJ and I went to try to find an outfit to bring the baby home in...no luck. And of course, I start crying like an idiot, because I'm still so sad about this all. Like, really. It breaks my heart. Its really hard to divorce someone when you still are desperately in love with them. He told me I have to move on... so does everyone else, but it's just really quite hard. I really wish someone were understanding to this, and just let me cry about it, instead of yelling at me for feeling this way.

I guess on the plus side, I got a job this week tutoring a kid, and have an interview on Saturday to work with a Deaf girl who has some developmental disorders... I really hope that works, and that they don't turn me away because I'm pregnant. I just hate that. I know everyone says "equal opportunity" but the reality is, no one wants to hire me for only 3 months, then just give me 2 months off for maternity leave.... oh well. Guess I'll find out...

Wish me luck!