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hmmm......

So.... I love picture frames. A lot. My Mother in law got me a cute little one that holds the sonogram and it is adorable. And I got the grandmas-to-be this little frame, which is adorable only because the baby picture is freggin awesome :)

I looked up single parent play groups here in Tucson, and there are a TON! I'm kinda excited for that. I know I have a while before he can play really, but I can't wait to have that happen. I think it will be good for me too, because then maybe I'd stop feeling sorry for myself. Doubtful. [I love self loathing]

LJ told me just now he hates the name Giovanni... So, what do I do? I love it, and I think it sounds great.. but if he hates it... do I do it anyway? Or do I settle for a name I don't love? I suppose Nicolas Joseph is ok, and we both thought that was nice... but Giovanni just has more umph--ya know?

What to do, what to do.....

I never bake... but I thought I'd try!

So, after many many MANY attempts to bake something that was beautiful, I decided to try cheese cake brownies. I have no idea how they taste, because I refuse to eat warm cheese cake, but they smell amazing, and look pretty darn good, if I must say so myself!

I kinda cheated though, I used boxed brownie mix, but the way I see it? baby steps :)
Speaking of baby, that's the reason I decided to try and bake. I figure every mom needs a signature dish for her kid, so on this pregnancy journey, I'm going to try to bake different desserts and see what's best! LJ used to like when I made brownies with peanut butter drizzle (store bought mix of course) but I hate those.. hopefully my little monster will feel the same. :) For example- my mother makes home made cinnamon buns every Christmas morning... my Great Grandma made S cookies... I want something that amazing to stick to a tradition too!

The brownies were SUPER easy too!
Regular boxed brownie mix in one bowl, 8ox of cream cheese, 1/4 cup of sugar, 1 egg and vanilla to taste in another, a voila! Then you just fill the muffin tin 1/2 with brownie mix, a little cheese cake mix, and take a tooth pick and make swirls. I mean, come on-- if I can do it? Must be pretty dang easy. :)

So, here are some pictures of the brownies that I tried to make!



And, this was what I ate while I was waiting for the brownies to bake.. haha


(by far my best purchase of the day!)

20 weeks

I'm feeling huge!! I was just looking at pictures of my friends when they were 20 weeks, and other girls on my pregnancy forums, and I look like I'm freggin having twins!

This little boy is killin me. :)

it's a BOY!!!!!

So... I have a little boy!!! I'm so excited. He was so good about letting us see him. I saw it before the tech actually said anything about it, because he is NOT shy apparently. :)
.I'm so glad everything checked out ok with him. I mean, I knew it was a boy, so that wasn't much of a surprise.. but to know he is right on schedule and he's growing perfectly is great.He's fat though. He's supposed to be measuring at about 8oz.... and he's a chunker, weighing in at 13oz. So, take that everyone who said I need to gain more weight.

He was a wiggly mess again, and showed us he had all his fingers, and that he can move his little feet perfectly.. not that I didn't know that with all the kicking.. hah.
But he's just perfect. I think he might have my nose, and LJ's mouth. That's the only thing I wanted him to have of LJ's.. his lips. That man has some nice lips. So..I'm hoping our son will have that. HOW WEIRD IS THAT!?! our son... man, that's going to take some getting used to. hah..

My mom, nona, and MiL came. It was pretty good. I mean... a little strange but like I've said a million times, normalcy really isn't my style.

We all went out to breakfast and then shopping when everything was done at the hospital, and we got some really cute boy stuff. Its really not fair that little girl stuff is so so SO much cuter, but whatever. This kid is going to have the most hilarious shirts ever. Because really? Who likes boring babies. NO ONE. that's who.


I'm just so happy! I'm thinking it's going to be Nicolas Giovianni. I think that sounds perfect. And then, earle to even it out... hah. He will also have my last name in there so there's that. And when he's old enough, he can decide which name to pick. I just think he deserves that option.... I mean, I'd like both in there, but I'm just imagining when he gets married and the girl is strong willed like me and unwilling to drop her name.. so she'll have an insanely long last name.. hah.. or maybe I'll just make it part of the middle name?!
I have no idea. I have 20 more weeks to decide this.

:)

Tomorrow's the Big Day!

I'm getting really anxious for tomorrow. I can't wait to see the baby, and see what their sex is. I really thought it was a girl before.... now I'm not sure. I think now that I'm doing this alone, it might be better to have a boy.... but I don't really know.
[side note...]This morning, I was listening to Less Than Jake, and Reel Big Fish.... the baby LOVES Ska! Loves it. Either that, or it;s kicking me to turn that crap off... but I prefer to think it's dancing in there. It was cracking me up. I'd turn it off for a second or two, and it would stop moving, and then as soon as I turned the music back on, they were wiggling again.

so....

My Mom, Nona and MiL are going to be coming to the US. Everyone is thinking it's pretty weird that I'm having her come... but I mean, its not her fault her son is a DB. She is still the grandma -- and she's really excited about this....I wish her son were as excited. Seriously, he's just... not himself anymore. He's changed, and I think that for the sake of my sanity, and the baby, the divorce is the best option. It just sucks that he wasn't willing to have it work.

I'm becoming more and more concerned about where I'm going to live, what to do with my car, and where to work. I mean, those are obvious concerns, but everyone keeps saying "it will all work out" or "take it one day at a time".....I want to f-ing slap those people. Yeah, it will work out. Yeah, obviously I HAVE to take it one day at a time. its not like I have a choice on that---idiots---


I just want a job to fall into my lap. hah... I have a meeting with my boss on May 18th, and I'm hoping because the students like me, I'll be hired back... I doubt it though. I would even do the whole "maternity leave with out pay" idea for a little bit. I can handle that. But I want this job back. I never thought I would, but I do. Rather, I need it, and I enjoy the students here, so it works for me.

That condo idea was terrible! It was a one bedroom, and I can't deal with that. Ideally, I want an apt or condo or anything really, with 2 bedrooms. If not I can work with it, but it has to be a biiiiiiig bed room. I have a lot of junk, so will the baby. But, the condo I was looking at was furnished, and it was UGLY. So I'd have to pay rent there, plus storage. DUMB. So now, I am looking at a little apt 2 bed 2 bath, but no washer/dryer. And.... I need that. So... help!

19 weeks!