New Blog

From this...(12 weeks)

...to this! (38.5 weeks)

Since the chapter has closed on my pregnancy journey- I need to start a new blog about my sweet little boy.

I loved being pregnant more than I ever though possible. I dont think it could have been any easier on me...unless of course, I didnt have the whole "getting a divorce while pregnant" thing involved, but such is life...

Even my delievery was amazing. The doctors started the pit drip at 6am, and at 12:18pm Nic was born. I was in labor for less than 20 minutes, and I enjoyed every minute of it (thanks to the epidural :] )!!

8 weeks
20 weeks

29 weeks

1 day old





It was an amazing journey.

I really don't think I could be any luckier. Nicolas is amazing.

I'm gonna kill him.

if burning my house down was a reasonable option, I'd do it to make the son of a bitch leave. He's fucking ruining everything. Seriously... I dont think anyone can possibly understand what a piece of shit he is..my mother caught a glimpse of it the other night, when she brought dinner to us.... but it's progressively getting worse...and any time I say "I think you should stay at your grandmother's house tonight" his response is "fine, I'll be sure to let Nic know when he's older you're the reason I'm not involved in his life"

....way to lay on the guilt trip mother fuck, but really, the reason you're not in his life is going to be becasue
a- a judge would be fucking HIGH to let you have custody
and
b-YOU FUCKING CHOSE THIS, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN


In other news.... my son? The most perfect thing in the ENTIRE world.

I will be posting a new blog about his life once fucktard is gone, which can't come soon enough.
I seriously seriously do not know what i was thinking letting him stay here.

I can't do it for 9 more days- so I hope enterprise can pick him up.

oh, and ps? parenting does not involve text messaging your slut girl friends and playing scrabble. This much I've learned so far. I'm already a far superior parent.

:]

Here we go!

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant

Our "myspace" bathroom shot: my aunt, mom, nic, and me (I really am not THAT huge, I was sticking my tummy out).

My Baby Sister, Josie Grosie, Sharie, and myself. I think that side of the table made enough noise for the entire place. So fun.

My aunt and I split this delicious Tiramisu.. I thought I was going to explode after eating it.

Because I had this amazing manicotti for dinner. Although, the waitress says it's Man A Cotty.
I just think if you work at an eye tie place, you should know how to say the dishes correctly.
......just a thought.....

Tomorrow, Monica and I are going to get our mani/pedi at the new place. I'm not getting a mani.... no point, since I'm guessing I'm about to get poo on my nails in the next few weeks until I get the hang of it. I seriously almost bought gloves today, but there weren't any non latex ones.... so I did not. I might get some at Target if they have some though... poop isn't fun.
Just sayin...

So, nails, lunch/starbucks, LJ, carwash, install carseat, target, dinner, shower, hospital.

I'm gonna barf. I'm so nervous. SO SO SOoooOoOooOoooOoOooo nervous.

38 weeks.

I have 2 days left! 2 days! I don't feel like I've gotten any bigger.. just lower maybe? All I know is this morning, I really wish I was able to get to my camera without moving, because my stomach looked like a jelly bean. The left and right side were HUGE but the middle was small. I mean, not flat or anything, but it was for sure an awkward shape. It cracked me up!

In other news, I think I'm getting a damn cold sore.
And the baby likes to stretch his knees all over the place, as you can see at the begining of the video clip here:



I dont even know how to handle myself anymore. Like... it doesn't feel like I'm any different. It's hard to imagine giving birth.
I'm mostly nervous for Tuesday. Like, seeing LJ is not anything I want to do. I also do NOT want him staying here... but I mean.. he does want to spend time with Nic, and I don't want to take that from him by asking him to stay elsewhere... but then again.... he picked this...
See why I'm stressed? haha Also, that whole pushing a human out of you is kind of scary. Ok. Not kind of... it's the most terrifying thing I have ever thought about doing.

I have everything totally ready though. Everything is cleaned, organized and ready to go. I just need to pack my makeup and hair stuff in the baby bag, and I'm ready. But... ugh. So not ready mentally. I'm really really terrified. Excited.. but totally scared. My whole world is about to change... and I dont know what to do!

My mom totally pissed my shit off today by saying" OH MY GOD your stretch marks are AWFUL!!!" ....like I didnt know. Thanks for the confidence boost Tina.

AAAAAAAAAAgh. tomorrow is my last day of work for a little bit... i'm going to probably vacuum again... jasmine knows something is up--and is shedding weird... and then the dinner at Carabbas (I'm so excited for that) and then.... Tuesday with the bestie for pedicures, lunch and starbucks.. then that's it! aaaaaaagh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor's visit

nothing.
freaking.
changed!!

Nothing, not my weight, not my BP (which is good) and not my damn cervix.
My uterus obviously got a bit bigger, but not much bigger (thank god-- but my doctor said "prepare for a big boy!!" thanks for your cheeriness doc, but are you the one pushing a giant out of YOUR vagina? I think not.)

Everything is good, but I really wish I were dilated a little more. Like to a 3 or 4. That would be awesome. but no such freaking luck. I did buy myself eyeshadow and nail polish though. I deserve it. It hurt.

Thank God for modern medicine.

My last week of not being a Mom...

Thursday-- dr appt, work, wings, buying myself a freaking present after having a doctor's hand shoved in my va jay. If I feel up to it, walking a mile.. but I did it Tuesday and his little head was putting too much pressure on me, so I dont really know..

Friday-- spa day with my little mommy!!! I'm getting a hair cut. I was just gonna trim it, but what the heck.. I'm chopping the back off. My hair is way too thick-- and it wont fit in a pony tail. the bottom falls out, and it's annoying.
Also-work... and then probably game night with the boys

Saturday- car wash, install the car seat
Sunday-clean my ass off..seriously, that's all I'm doing on Sunday during the day. Then I'm going to dinner with my MiL

Monday-- Work...then the big dinner.

Tuesday-- Pedicure. A deluxe pedicure where I will be getting hot pink toes with a cute little zebra design on the big toe! I kinda feel like a jerk... I'm not going to my regular place [topline nails], but they really screwed up on Monica's nails last time, and my last pedi didn't really do anything for me. I mean, they hardly rubbed my feet, and they just painted my toes... I could have done that myself, and saved 30$ and I mean, my feet are killing me lately....So, I'm trying a new place [OPI nails] out that my mom went to on her bday, and her toes ended up cute. I feel bad for taking a picture of what I wanted from my normal place, and I'm going to show it to the new place, unless they have a cuter design... oh well..

(I just hope this looks cute on my toes... )

After the pedi, Monica and I will get our final Starbucks in, then at 3:00, I'm meeting up with LJ... then we'll go over whatever we need to, I'll tell him my birthing plan... we'll eat, I'll shower, get ready, and then off to the hospital we go!


Wednesday-- I become a mom.

In one week I'll be in the hospital!

I'm a big believer in count downs. I make one for just about everything. Literally. I make one for insignificant events, work, shopping... pedicures. EVERYTHING.
One count down I've made since Jan 21st 2010, was the birth of my sweet baby. So, in one week, I'll be AT the hospital... so...I have 6 days left as a child free person.


Everyone keeps telling me to do things I wont be able to do when the baby gets here... but I don't know what to do!! I know the morning of the 14th, I'm getting a pedicure. An amazing, expensive one, that I will regret paying so much for, but since I wont be able to do that for a looonnnng time? it's worth it.
(yes, I've asked LJ's mother to pick him up because emotionally, I just can't do it. Picking someone up from the airport is supposed to be an exciting thing, and I used to do it SO much when we were dating, that I just can't imagine doing it...plus, I dont think I want added time with him when the baby isn't even here, because he's not here to see me, but to see the baby)

I also think on the 14th, I'll do my last Starbucks run without a baby in tow with Monica... but leading up to that day? No freaking idea!

I want to eat at Sweet Tomatoes... and obviously, the family dinner plus Monica on the 13th... but seriously? What else is there to do? 4th ave? Urban Outfitters? After that, I'm out of ideas!

All I know, is I only have 6 days to do all this...and I'm literally running around trying to make everything perfect. I can not wait!...and ps? I got a onesie for the little one that says "mommy's little monster" and a dino jacket. WIN!!!!

37 weeks--full term!

So, it's totally ok if this baby comes out tomorrow. The rules say, you can officially give birth at 37 weeks, with like, no problem. Physically, I'm SO ready. mentally? No. not even close! But, I think there would be about 4 people that would be pretty upset if I didn't make it until the 15th, so they can be there for it... so... either way!

The pregnancy is still going amazingly- except for a few mundane issues. Such as HUGE SWELLING FEET! So huge in fact, that the asian lady that was giving me a pedicure said "I no fit your shoe on"...yeah. That bad. Heart burn as totally decreased, but I think it's because the baby's a bit lower. Although, his new favorite game is called "lets kick mommy in the ribs, then bladder to see what kind of a reaction she has" and it really isn't that fun. Joke's on him-- when he starts eating, we're going to play "you cant leave the table until you eat all your veggies" and guess what? I win. :]

My aunt had a BBQ at her house today. She's insane for having so many people over, but it was nice. She made chocolate banana nut muffins, and while I only ate the top, they were probably the best muffin I've ever had. Not too sweet, not overwhelmingly banana... amazing. What wasn't amazing, was her boyfriend's stupid mother. I seriously want to punch that woman in the throat. She lies... like, a lot. Also, she's one of those people that has done everything you have, only she has done it better. Like, for example- she has delivered a baby. Like, pulled one out of a woman's vagina. Lie #1 of the day. The bitch also said to my aunt, that I've dropped. She hasn't seen me since I was 5 months... what the fuck does she know about how I looked before? stupid idiot. She said pork is the cleanest meat, which is not true and at that point, I started to defend myself but she just kept saying "no no no no no no no" like a fucking retarded old fuck. I hate her, and I swear the best thing about having a baby is this: She's going to ask to hold him, and I'm going to say "no way you stupid old bitch" because I am the mom and I make the rules! woooooottttt!!!!
Seriously- she comes near my kid, I'll slap the shit out of her. aaaaaaaah the power a baby gives you. aweeeesssooome! just kidding. I wont call her a stupid old bitch. I'll just say no. :] But in my mind, I'll have killed her, or infected her with Hepatitis.. heh....

I honestly hate that old lady.

I still am on a quest for make up. It's become an obsession...seriously. And it's ok -because it's E.L.F! so I'm not even spending much money. Today, after the BBQ, I planned on going home, but then decided I was going to walgreens to get my mom a cooling mask (she got tattooed eyeliner) and even though she looked SO much better today, I thought it might be a nice thing for her to have... so instead, I went to Target, which I totally feel bad about, because I told my cousin I just wanted to go home (I totally wanted to go home, but target made sense since I needed house items, so I'm hoping she won't stab me next time she sees me...) but anyway....
I went to Target, to get a few baby items, cleaning supplies, a blanket, and some amazing, wonderful make up. I got the following items:

This, is an under eye concealer, plus highlighter. I plan on using this to look lovely while family, and other people stop by to see the baby, and I've only had 2 minutes of sleep. I haven't tried it, but I really hope it works.
This, is THE BEST lip gloss I have EVER used. It is perfect. I love it more than I love most family members. It's a perfect pink, without being too bright, and it's glossy but not sticky, and I <3 it.

I just don't know how I feel about this. it's waterproof eyeliner, but it goes on like a felt tip marker. it's great for evening looks, but I dont know if I can master my daytime look with it. I hope I can, because it's SO easy, and glides right on, and that's important to me, because I need to stop pulling my eyelid to do my eye liner, or I'll have serious wrinkles in a few years!

I will not be using this "all over" but I will use it as a bream blush. I think. I have never used a cream before. Kinda excited to try this out.

Another thing I'm excited for? Freakin GLEE!!!!! it comes back on very soon, and I'm thrilled!

I'm so excited to have this baby too.... although, I'm starting to worry about LJ being here. He wont even answer my calls, or texts... it's really bothering me. I mean, I don't expect him to revolve his life around my phone calls, but I think he should answer my calls. I really feel like I'm going above and beyond in even allowing him in the delivery room...and he can't even answer, or return a phone call? it's annoying. I'm pretty sure I'd prefer his mom to pick him up, and then have him run the errands with her, because I dont want to ruin my day by having him around. It's just depressing for me to see him, and know he left me. So, I'm having a bit of a problem with allowing him to stay here while he;s in town. I really am trying to see the good points in it, since he's not here long, and he will want to be around the baby, but I also know, that if I'm stressed, the baby will sense that, and I just don't know. I just do not know. It's really stressful and I'm trying not to stress out too much... ugh. it's really an awful situation to be in.. I mean... shit.
it sucks.

I just want to have my baby, and be happy. And I doubt I can be happy if LJ's around.

I seriously want to make this shirt!!!!

Hurricane EarlE

In 12 days Hurricane EARLE comes to Tucson. Are you ready?

Because I sure as hell am not, and I'm really not after what just freaking happened. I specifically asked something to be set up BEFORE the first of the month.. did he do it? Of course not! No no no. Now I have to wait until Oct 1st for the dentist, which normally? I wouldn't mind. October is a lovely month to go to the dentist... but it's not lovely when I will have a 15 day old baby to tend to, and I wont really be able to even do anything for 6 weeks. I really do appreciate him setting everything up (1 month later--even though it literally took 2 minutes to set up on line) but I really really wanted to get it taken care of before the baby got here. In 12-13 days. Holy shit.