Wednesday, September 22, 2010

New Blog

From this...(12 weeks) this! (38.5 weeks)

Since the chapter has closed on my pregnancy journey- I need to start a new blog about my sweet little boy.

I loved being pregnant more than I ever though possible. I dont think it could have been any easier on me...unless of course, I didnt have the whole "getting a divorce while pregnant" thing involved, but such is life...

Even my delievery was amazing. The doctors started the pit drip at 6am, and at 12:18pm Nic was born. I was in labor for less than 20 minutes, and I enjoyed every minute of it (thanks to the epidural :] )!!

8 weeks
20 weeks

29 weeks

1 day old

It was an amazing journey.

I really don't think I could be any luckier. Nicolas is amazing.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I'm gonna kill him.

if burning my house down was a reasonable option, I'd do it to make the son of a bitch leave. He's fucking ruining everything. Seriously... I dont think anyone can possibly understand what a piece of shit he mother caught a glimpse of it the other night, when she brought dinner to us.... but it's progressively getting worse...and any time I say "I think you should stay at your grandmother's house tonight" his response is "fine, I'll be sure to let Nic know when he's older you're the reason I'm not involved in his life"

....way to lay on the guilt trip mother fuck, but really, the reason you're not in his life is going to be becasue
a- a judge would be fucking HIGH to let you have custody

In other news.... my son? The most perfect thing in the ENTIRE world.

I will be posting a new blog about his life once fucktard is gone, which can't come soon enough.
I seriously seriously do not know what i was thinking letting him stay here.

I can't do it for 9 more days- so I hope enterprise can pick him up.

oh, and ps? parenting does not involve text messaging your slut girl friends and playing scrabble. This much I've learned so far. I'm already a far superior parent.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant

Our "myspace" bathroom shot: my aunt, mom, nic, and me (I really am not THAT huge, I was sticking my tummy out).

My Baby Sister, Josie Grosie, Sharie, and myself. I think that side of the table made enough noise for the entire place. So fun.

My aunt and I split this delicious Tiramisu.. I thought I was going to explode after eating it.

Because I had this amazing manicotti for dinner. Although, the waitress says it's Man A Cotty.
I just think if you work at an eye tie place, you should know how to say the dishes correctly.
......just a thought.....

Tomorrow, Monica and I are going to get our mani/pedi at the new place. I'm not getting a mani.... no point, since I'm guessing I'm about to get poo on my nails in the next few weeks until I get the hang of it. I seriously almost bought gloves today, but there weren't any non latex ones.... so I did not. I might get some at Target if they have some though... poop isn't fun.
Just sayin...

So, nails, lunch/starbucks, LJ, carwash, install carseat, target, dinner, shower, hospital.

I'm gonna barf. I'm so nervous. SO SO SOoooOoOooOoooOoOooo nervous.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

38 weeks.

I have 2 days left! 2 days! I don't feel like I've gotten any bigger.. just lower maybe? All I know is this morning, I really wish I was able to get to my camera without moving, because my stomach looked like a jelly bean. The left and right side were HUGE but the middle was small. I mean, not flat or anything, but it was for sure an awkward shape. It cracked me up!

In other news, I think I'm getting a damn cold sore.
And the baby likes to stretch his knees all over the place, as you can see at the begining of the video clip here:

I dont even know how to handle myself anymore. Like... it doesn't feel like I'm any different. It's hard to imagine giving birth.
I'm mostly nervous for Tuesday. Like, seeing LJ is not anything I want to do. I also do NOT want him staying here... but I mean.. he does want to spend time with Nic, and I don't want to take that from him by asking him to stay elsewhere... but then again.... he picked this...
See why I'm stressed? haha Also, that whole pushing a human out of you is kind of scary. Ok. Not kind of... it's the most terrifying thing I have ever thought about doing.

I have everything totally ready though. Everything is cleaned, organized and ready to go. I just need to pack my makeup and hair stuff in the baby bag, and I'm ready. But... ugh. So not ready mentally. I'm really really terrified. Excited.. but totally scared. My whole world is about to change... and I dont know what to do!

My mom totally pissed my shit off today by saying" OH MY GOD your stretch marks are AWFUL!!!" I didnt know. Thanks for the confidence boost Tina.

AAAAAAAAAAgh. tomorrow is my last day of work for a little bit... i'm going to probably vacuum again... jasmine knows something is up--and is shedding weird... and then the dinner at Carabbas (I'm so excited for that) and then.... Tuesday with the bestie for pedicures, lunch and starbucks.. then that's it! aaaaaaagh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Doctor's visit


Nothing, not my weight, not my BP (which is good) and not my damn cervix.
My uterus obviously got a bit bigger, but not much bigger (thank god-- but my doctor said "prepare for a big boy!!" thanks for your cheeriness doc, but are you the one pushing a giant out of YOUR vagina? I think not.)

Everything is good, but I really wish I were dilated a little more. Like to a 3 or 4. That would be awesome. but no such freaking luck. I did buy myself eyeshadow and nail polish though. I deserve it. It hurt.

Thank God for modern medicine.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

My last week of not being a Mom...

Thursday-- dr appt, work, wings, buying myself a freaking present after having a doctor's hand shoved in my va jay. If I feel up to it, walking a mile.. but I did it Tuesday and his little head was putting too much pressure on me, so I dont really know..

Friday-- spa day with my little mommy!!! I'm getting a hair cut. I was just gonna trim it, but what the heck.. I'm chopping the back off. My hair is way too thick-- and it wont fit in a pony tail. the bottom falls out, and it's annoying.
Also-work... and then probably game night with the boys

Saturday- car wash, install the car seat
Sunday-clean my ass off..seriously, that's all I'm doing on Sunday during the day. Then I'm going to dinner with my MiL

Monday-- Work...then the big dinner.

Tuesday-- Pedicure. A deluxe pedicure where I will be getting hot pink toes with a cute little zebra design on the big toe! I kinda feel like a jerk... I'm not going to my regular place [topline nails], but they really screwed up on Monica's nails last time, and my last pedi didn't really do anything for me. I mean, they hardly rubbed my feet, and they just painted my toes... I could have done that myself, and saved 30$ and I mean, my feet are killing me lately....So, I'm trying a new place [OPI nails] out that my mom went to on her bday, and her toes ended up cute. I feel bad for taking a picture of what I wanted from my normal place, and I'm going to show it to the new place, unless they have a cuter design... oh well..

(I just hope this looks cute on my toes... )

After the pedi, Monica and I will get our final Starbucks in, then at 3:00, I'm meeting up with LJ... then we'll go over whatever we need to, I'll tell him my birthing plan... we'll eat, I'll shower, get ready, and then off to the hospital we go!

Wednesday-- I become a mom.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

In one week I'll be in the hospital!

I'm a big believer in count downs. I make one for just about everything. Literally. I make one for insignificant events, work, shopping... pedicures. EVERYTHING.
One count down I've made since Jan 21st 2010, was the birth of my sweet baby. So, in one week, I'll be AT the hospital... so...I have 6 days left as a child free person.

Everyone keeps telling me to do things I wont be able to do when the baby gets here... but I don't know what to do!! I know the morning of the 14th, I'm getting a pedicure. An amazing, expensive one, that I will regret paying so much for, but since I wont be able to do that for a looonnnng time? it's worth it.
(yes, I've asked LJ's mother to pick him up because emotionally, I just can't do it. Picking someone up from the airport is supposed to be an exciting thing, and I used to do it SO much when we were dating, that I just can't imagine doing, I dont think I want added time with him when the baby isn't even here, because he's not here to see me, but to see the baby)

I also think on the 14th, I'll do my last Starbucks run without a baby in tow with Monica... but leading up to that day? No freaking idea!

I want to eat at Sweet Tomatoes... and obviously, the family dinner plus Monica on the 13th... but seriously? What else is there to do? 4th ave? Urban Outfitters? After that, I'm out of ideas!

All I know, is I only have 6 days to do all this...and I'm literally running around trying to make everything perfect. I can not wait!...and ps? I got a onesie for the little one that says "mommy's little monster" and a dino jacket. WIN!!!!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

37 weeks--full term!

So, it's totally ok if this baby comes out tomorrow. The rules say, you can officially give birth at 37 weeks, with like, no problem. Physically, I'm SO ready. mentally? No. not even close! But, I think there would be about 4 people that would be pretty upset if I didn't make it until the 15th, so they can be there for it... so... either way!

The pregnancy is still going amazingly- except for a few mundane issues. Such as HUGE SWELLING FEET! So huge in fact, that the asian lady that was giving me a pedicure said "I no fit your shoe on"...yeah. That bad. Heart burn as totally decreased, but I think it's because the baby's a bit lower. Although, his new favorite game is called "lets kick mommy in the ribs, then bladder to see what kind of a reaction she has" and it really isn't that fun. Joke's on him-- when he starts eating, we're going to play "you cant leave the table until you eat all your veggies" and guess what? I win. :]

My aunt had a BBQ at her house today. She's insane for having so many people over, but it was nice. She made chocolate banana nut muffins, and while I only ate the top, they were probably the best muffin I've ever had. Not too sweet, not overwhelmingly banana... amazing. What wasn't amazing, was her boyfriend's stupid mother. I seriously want to punch that woman in the throat. She lies... like, a lot. Also, she's one of those people that has done everything you have, only she has done it better. Like, for example- she has delivered a baby. Like, pulled one out of a woman's vagina. Lie #1 of the day. The bitch also said to my aunt, that I've dropped. She hasn't seen me since I was 5 months... what the fuck does she know about how I looked before? stupid idiot. She said pork is the cleanest meat, which is not true and at that point, I started to defend myself but she just kept saying "no no no no no no no" like a fucking retarded old fuck. I hate her, and I swear the best thing about having a baby is this: She's going to ask to hold him, and I'm going to say "no way you stupid old bitch" because I am the mom and I make the rules! woooooottttt!!!!
Seriously- she comes near my kid, I'll slap the shit out of her. aaaaaaaah the power a baby gives you. aweeeesssooome! just kidding. I wont call her a stupid old bitch. I'll just say no. :] But in my mind, I'll have killed her, or infected her with Hepatitis.. heh....
I honestly hate that old lady.

I still am on a quest for make up. It's become an obsession...seriously. And it's ok -because it's E.L.F! so I'm not even spending much money. Today, after the BBQ, I planned on going home, but then decided I was going to walgreens to get my mom a cooling mask (she got tattooed eyeliner) and even though she looked SO much better today, I thought it might be a nice thing for her to have... so instead, I went to Target, which I totally feel bad about, because I told my cousin I just wanted to go home (I totally wanted to go home, but target made sense since I needed house items, so I'm hoping she won't stab me next time she sees me...) but anyway....
I went to Target, to get a few baby items, cleaning supplies, a blanket, and some amazing, wonderful make up. I got the following items:

This, is an under eye concealer, plus highlighter. I plan on using this to look lovely while family, and other people stop by to see the baby, and I've only had 2 minutes of sleep. I haven't tried it, but I really hope it works.
This, is THE BEST lip gloss I have EVER used. It is perfect. I love it more than I love most family members. It's a perfect pink, without being too bright, and it's glossy but not sticky, and I <3 it.

I just don't know how I feel about this. it's waterproof eyeliner, but it goes on like a felt tip marker. it's great for evening looks, but I dont know if I can master my daytime look with it. I hope I can, because it's SO easy, and glides right on, and that's important to me, because I need to stop pulling my eyelid to do my eye liner, or I'll have serious wrinkles in a few years!

I will not be using this "all over" but I will use it as a bream blush. I think. I have never used a cream before. Kinda excited to try this out.

Another thing I'm excited for? Freakin GLEE!!!!! it comes back on very soon, and I'm thrilled!

I'm so excited to have this baby too.... although, I'm starting to worry about LJ being here. He wont even answer my calls, or texts... it's really bothering me. I mean, I don't expect him to revolve his life around my phone calls, but I think he should answer my calls. I really feel like I'm going above and beyond in even allowing him in the delivery room...and he can't even answer, or return a phone call? it's annoying. I'm pretty sure I'd prefer his mom to pick him up, and then have him run the errands with her, because I dont want to ruin my day by having him around. It's just depressing for me to see him, and know he left me. So, I'm having a bit of a problem with allowing him to stay here while he;s in town. I really am trying to see the good points in it, since he's not here long, and he will want to be around the baby, but I also know, that if I'm stressed, the baby will sense that, and I just don't know. I just do not know. It's really stressful and I'm trying not to stress out too much... ugh. it's really an awful situation to be in.. I mean... shit.
it sucks.

I just want to have my baby, and be happy. And I doubt I can be happy if LJ's around.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Hurricane EarlE

In 12 days Hurricane EARLE comes to Tucson. Are you ready?

Because I sure as hell am not, and I'm really not after what just freaking happened. I specifically asked something to be set up BEFORE the first of the month.. did he do it? Of course not! No no no. Now I have to wait until Oct 1st for the dentist, which normally? I wouldn't mind. October is a lovely month to go to the dentist... but it's not lovely when I will have a 15 day old baby to tend to, and I wont really be able to even do anything for 6 weeks. I really do appreciate him setting everything up (1 month later--even though it literally took 2 minutes to set up on line) but I really really wanted to get it taken care of before the baby got here. In 12-13 days. Holy shit.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010


look at this trickster.... thinking she's a baby.
I changed the sheet, only to find her in there again. Jerk.

omg that hurt.

Holy freakin crap. I swear. If I knew pregnancy was so painful, I would have never ever EVER have had sex. Ever. Being checked for dilation was THE MOST PAINFUL THING EVER!!!!!!!
I dont like it, and I think they should just not ever check me again.
I guess I misunderstood how they check you for that, but I didn't know it consisted of a doctor shoving her hand as hard as she could up your va-jay.
Sweet Lord.

So, with that said... I'm dilated 1.5 cm, and my doctor is very happy. I'll be going in to the hospital on Sept 14th at about 9pm and given medication to soften the ol' cervix and then at 5am or so, they'll start the petocin drip.

I'm really pissed off.
It ruins everything I had planned! Like, I wanted to have the lovely dinner, come home, relax, POOP, go to sleep, wake up POOP and get glammed out. Now? I'll eat, and probably poop when I freaking give birth. Awesome. I'm SO excited for 10 people so see me poop. And also, I'm going to look like death warmed over. I wonder if they'll let me take a shower that morning?
I really hope so. I want one last shower before I can only use a water bottle so wash off. yuuuuuck.

So... yeah. 2 weeks. Like, seriously. In 14 days, I'll be in the hospital getting ready to have a baby.

I"m freakin out man..

Saturday, August 28, 2010

36 weeks.

18 freaking days left. Thats it! OMFG!!!! I think it's safe to say I'm in freak out mode...sometimes. Sometimes I freak out because I'm so overwhelmed that I'm going to be a single mama... an insanely cool one, but still, a single mama. I am really quite thankful for all the support I have on my end though. :]

Today is my last day with the duke. :[ I think. I'm not really sure when her adoptive family is coming to get her tomorrow.. but either way, I'm pretty sad. She's been my main source of entertainment the last week. She is just SO funny. Also, I just looked over, and the dang dog is passed out, but her tongue is hanging out of her mouth. Lazy thing.

So. I feel amazing.... No swelling (except my fingers a little)... I can sleep.. and everything is good. I will say that heart burn is still a pain in the butt though... but other than that? I don't see why pregnant women complain all the time about how much it sucks. Granted, I'm fat as an elephant, I have stretchmarks that are never going away,and I'm pretty sure my shoe size went up a half size, but really? I expected all those things. Once the little man comes, I'm going to miss a few things, such as going to Starbucks with Monica every other night, sleeping.... eating whatever I want because "i'm pregnant! it's ok!"... and I'm not going to like dieting insanely, but on the flip side? I'll have my son!!! I think Monica said it best yesterday when I said I felt silly talking about the make up I'll be wearing to the hospital..."it's not every day you meet the love of your life" and she's right. I can't wait to meet my little Nicolas.

I really can't explain what happened to me, but it's like over night, I have this insane desire to buy make up. Don't get me wrong. I've always liked make up--a lot. But I now have an INSANE obsession with eye make up. What's lame about it though... is that no matter what color combination I slab on my eyes, it always looks the same in a few hours. So, my cousin told me (she's a MAC cosmetologist) to get a gel primer... I couldn't find one (that wasn't over $30) so I got a cream primer.. and I can't really tell a difference... so I think I'll just get over it. I have recently become a HUGE fan of E.L.F. products. You can find most of them at the 3rd love of my life (Target..duh), or you can order them here. They have such a diverse line, and guess what else? They're SO FREGGIN CHEAP!!!! I have spent a butt load of make up from Bobbie Brown, and MAC... and E.L.F. is just as good, if not better..why? because you can get more, and I feel like it's just as good. Except some of MAC's eye make up, because that shit is craaaaazy.

Here are some pictures, of a HUGE belly:

and yeah, my hair is STILL black. I dont want to strip it, but I think that's my last option.

My NON-swollen ankles!!!

and, I've dropped. I now enjoy using my tummy as a tray for holding things such as: phones, food, candy, and TV remotes. :]

Friday, August 27, 2010

Crib Wall

Today, Monica and I went to get manicures. Because of that, I figured today was the day I'd have my little brother take pictures of my hands, signing my little baby's name... but the poor kid had an awful headache after dinner (pei wei!!!) so I thought I would try it out myself, and if worse came to worse, I'd have him do it tomorrow....thankfully? I rock at taking hand pictures (apparently), so I uploaded them to photobucket, changed the coloring, ordered them through walgreens, and shabam! The nursery is done. I will post more pictures on Monday or something. I just need to put everything back after Daizy goes with her adoptive family. I trust her with 99% of the house.. but she really likes destroying the baby stuff for some reason, so I just dont want to take any chances with that nonsense.
Anyway-- this is the crib wall, and the hand pictures!

I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out :]

Dino from Grammy, pillow from Home Goods (I <3 that store) and everything else made by Little Nona...That woman has some serious talent. Look at the monster! She MADE that. And the blanket... good Lord.

Before adding the blue dots....

I really just love the monster, for my little monster. :]

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to the best mother in the entire world!!!!!
She's leaving us to go to New Jersey. So. Freaking. Jealous. Totally not fair. My sister and I are dying to go with her, but she has school, and I am about to pop, and I think with the added cabin pressure my stomach would explode. Or something.

In any event--today is her big day. So, Happy Birthday Little Mommy. We all love you more than anything.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Picture it--
Cat and dog living in perfect harmony...
Now think of the exact opposite.. and that is what I found after returning home from the mall and Starbucks--where, Monica got a whole thing of coffee fo free!!! Not our drinks.. like, a bag of coffee.. Why? Its because I totally know one of the Brewistas that work there! yay for Lauren (thank you)!!!

Seriosuly. I was expecting poop to be honest. I kept telling Monica that I'd come home to poop (ok, yesterday, it was pouring rain, so I assumed Daizy would poop in the house, just because she wont go outside in the rain, and today, she was being weird and not going pee even so I totally thought I'd have some kind of puppy surprise in my house, but I didn't!) but nooooo, I came home to Jazmine slapping Daizy in the face. Seriously. In. The. Face. Poor dog...

So anyway, while at starbucks, I was told by another girl I was in band with that I looked like I was about to pop. I totally feel that way too. So again. I am SO confused about my damn due date. 35 weeks, but measuring at 37 (I assume--I've been measuring 1.5 weeks-ish ahead every time) and so, that's full term, so wtf. WTF! I guess I'll find out more on Tuesday. This time, I'm going to ask my doctor a million questions. I really think she should take the time to answer my damn questions. I mean after all, she's going to have her face about 3 inches from my va jay.

I'm like, stretch marked out though. Seriously, if I grow out anymore, this kid's going to be grounded before he even comes out of the womb. Shit. it's bad. I just got up to look, and thought about maybe adding a picture-- but no. Not I will not.

it's far too disturbing...

35 weeks

I don't know if I should really label this post at 37 weeks.. the whole measuring thing really is confusing me! But, I guess if the doctor never changed my due date, I'll still say 35....right? Stupid doctors.

Anyway-- as you can see from the picture, I have dropped. It's amazing to breathe again. It really is. :]
Although...heartburn is really becoming an issue now. Pretty much every night--er morning-- at 1 or 2am I wake up and run to the medicine cabinet and eat like 39 tums. The little guy has stopped moving as much.. which is normal, but weird for me. He normally is always moving, but now it's only if I eat something that he likes. Also- his butt is on my left side, and his little feet are on my right side, and he moves his feet like his dad. I know that's weird to say, but when LJ would be sleeping (which I witnessed constantly, because he is the most lazy person you will EVER meet), he would like, do this weird thing with his feet, that I can feel the baby do. It's very funny. I obviously may be wrong in this, and he could just be moving around, but it really feels like he's doing the weird LJ foot thing.
It really amazes me the traits that are passed down genetically. Like, me for example. I obviously never knew my biological father, and I apparently walk like him, smirk like him, anger easily like him, ect. And from my mother.... I have all the other craziness. Thanks Mom! :]

I can't believe in a few days I'll be meeting my little boy.
Also, I can't believe I'm going to be picking LJ up the day before that happens. I can't say I'm thrilled at the prospect of seeing him, because he does nothing but upset me now-a-days, but I'm glad he'll be able to see his son make his grand entrance.

.....I just don't know if mentally, I should be around LJ 24/7 while he's here. I really don't want him to stay here the whole time.... The thought of him literally makes my heart race... not in the good way, but in the "holy shit, he's coming here and I have to be nice to him even though I want to take a brick and bash his face in" kind of way. I'm finding all this information on things he's supposed to have done this whole time we've been separated, and he's done NONE of it.. I literally get sick to my stomach at the thought of it all. Like, literally, I feel the urge to vomit when I think of how badly I'm getting fucked over, again and again and again by the father of my child.

On a more humorous note...I found this shirt on line, and I cracked up!

I have everything ready in the nursery, except the picture for above the crib, but I need a manicure before I take those pictures. I can't paint my nails very well. They always end up looking like a 2 year old did it for me.

Saturday, August 21, 2010


I have a car, I have my is good....(minus the mother fucker that my dad's sister brought over that let her out, making me, my mom, my dad and sister search for her for like 30 mins.. did the asshole even get up to look or say sorry? NOPE. So, yeah. I had some unkind words for him. And I'm all crampy now because I ran. WTF is wrong with people... like seriously? Who the hell just lets a hyper ass dog out in the middle of the desert? Idiots, I guess.)....

Friday, August 20, 2010


I didn't like my crazy hair changing colors this summer, so I dyed it. The box? it said dark brown. But imagine my suprise when I rinse the dye out, and dry my hair and I freakin look like THIS:
My mother is going to have a field day with this.

Also? Let me tell you a story. It goes a little something like this.
Boy emails Girl on myspace, they fall in love and get married. 3 months later Boy decides Girl needs a new car. 2 new cars actually, because one died and Girl is now making $500/month car payments.. 2 and a half years later, Boy changes his name to "huge asshat".
Girl moves back to Tucson to get away from Huge Asshat, because after all, he turned into an asshat.
I digress.
Girl gets a job, loves her job, and is very pleased with how her life is, but she misses Huge Asshat daily.
Huge Asshat comes to Tucson for the holidays, and he and Girl decide to give the marriage a whirl again, and also, decide to partake in married activities.
Girl finds herself pregnant.
Huge Asshat is not as excited but they're happy they're having a baby together.
Girl quits her amazing job to move back to KY with Huge Asshat.
ONE WEEK LATER Huge Asshat decides he no longer wants to be with Girl, because Girl calls more than once a day, and she asks Huge Asshat and his hillbilly slutty room mates to quit smoking in the house, and to fix walls and other necessary things that needed to be done before they bring a child in the house.
So, Girl finds herself, for lack of a better term, fucked.
Girl moves into a tiny condo instead of a house.
Girl has to get rid of her amazing dog.
Girl then makes the decision to get rid of the car that we read about in the beginning of story.
Girl realizes that in 7 months, she paid as much as she's about to buy a new car for-- and thinks to herself "thanks for screwing me once again, asshat"
The End.

I'm about to go buy a damn car. I <3 the car I had. But, since I had to quit my job to move back, and then I was told NOT to move back, I really didn't have another option. Good thing this new car is like, the same thing. Same color even. :]

I don't give 2 shits to hear anyone's negative opinion on this matter either. I have a feeling I'm going to hear a lot of "oh no, you're totally screwing up your guys' credit" and to that? I say "screw you!" I'm out of other options.

Thursday, August 19, 2010


If you should ever find yourself knocked up.. don't get sick.
My diet is consisting of sorbet, tea and cough drops.
I'm kinda pissed about it.
I miss candy, and chips, and other items that are hard to swallow.

These cough drops are delicious, but I don't think they actually suppress my coughing.

I <3 tea. I'm sick of it though. I'm not sick of this mug, because it is hilarious.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Doctor's visit.......

So, good news is, I have only gained 28lbs. Bad news? I've gained 28lbs. I really only wanted to gain 25.. but oh well. All together, I should still be at about 33lbs if I stay on track... I really hope I can!

Also, baby is good-- but measuring at about a week and a half ahead. Apparently, he has been the whole time... my doctor said only a week, the nurse said over that.. wtf! Why don't they tell you? ...Apparently, so you don't FTFO when you hear you're measuring ahead. hah

All in all, everything is good. He's head down.. and the nurse is guessing he'll be about 7-8lbs. :]

29 days.... my gosh...

Monday, August 16, 2010

braxton hicks? preterm labor?

So-yesterday, my mom, sister, and I went to see Eat. Pray. Love.-and it was a great movie. I highly recommend it. Unfortunately, during the movie, I started cramping like I was on my period, but worse. It was awful, and it went around to my lower back too. From everything I've read up to this point, told me that those were signs of early labor, so of course I freaked out, ran to the bathroom after the movie to check for blood, but thankfully, nothing. So, I called my doctor but since it was Sunday, she wasn't in, and I had to have a doctor on call, call me back... which she did, and she was very nice, but she told me that if the pain didn't subside to go to the hospital, which I just didn't want to do. So.. I sucked it up, drank a ton of water and kinda just relaxed a little. I went to my mom's house just in case something happened.. I didn't really want to be alone...

So, while I'm there it was hurting on and off, and so I assumed it was the famous Braxton Hicks.. but I was wrong I think. Nothing contracted. ...unless I'm just super lucky and mine wont be that bad, but I mean, no one is that lucky...right?

Well--while I was there freakin betty...
She puked at the fuckin table
the dinner table
and I'm emetophobic
and it was awful
and I dont like her.. I really dont
so I didnt feel sorry for her
at all, and now I feel guilty for that
I really hate when people throw up-I like it less when I dont like the person, and I really hate that she was so focused on eating a fat man's portion at dinner that she didnt stop and just get up and go into the restroom to do it at least. It was really annoying... but because she did that, I had to jump up and run out the door, and I made my mom bring me my shit...
and I came home. All night I was worried about going into labor, but I didnt.. yay!
Tomorrow morning, I have an appt with my ob, and I'm kinda nervous about it.
I'm really sore... and it's just not fun being pregnant anymore... except for when I go out to eat. :]
But also-- I need to get that gross butt and vajay test tomorrow-- and I'm so not excited for the no pants visits. ugh

I seriously am peeing every 10 minutes now, and its awful!
Anyway--everything is good. Baby is moving like crazy, so I think I'm good to go. AAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDD

I didn't gain any weight this week. Yay me!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

34 weeks.

So--apparently, I've dropped. I think I look the same, but my mother, and Nona said I look lower. Whatever. All I know is I'm huge. I really can't imagine being any bigger... I know I will be-- but I just can't imagine it.

The baby has the hiccups like, all the time. All. The. Time. also? I can feel his foot. Like, I can tell it's his foot kicking me. So weird that I know which body part is which now. I love it. I dont even know what it's going to be like when I dont have a baby in me. I would NEVER EVER EVER do it, but I totally understand why the Duggers or whatever their name is (the 19 kids and counting people) have so many kids. Not only is MAKING a baby fun as shit , but being pregnant is the most amazing experience I've ever been through.

Doctor's appt on Tuesday. My mom is going to NJ (and I'm totally jealous) but she doesn't want to go if I'm at all dilated. I freakin hope I'm not! I still have a month left! I mean, I know there are a lot of people that pop at this point, but I really hope I'm not one of them.

In other exciting news-- the sibs are here tonight for a little slumber party. I don't exactly know what brought this on, but it's funny. We're watching Step Brothers, and I've seriously never heard my brother laugh this hard. While LeAnne doesn't seem excited by the baby's movement, Alan just witnessed the gymnastic show the little one preforms every night around this time. Seriously, he flips from side to side like a crazy baby. I love this baby. He's so silly. But seriously, best decision ever using my brother's name for the baby's middle name. Alan totally is into this pregnancy more than LJ even, so I'm so glad we're honoring him this way. :]

Also? I went out to dinner with the family, PLUS big red, and nona and pop. Never. Doing. That. Again. First of all, that was the smelliest car ride I've ever experienced in my life. And the loudest. And it was just full of complaining and "hmm lets see" sentences and UGH. no thank you to that.

I loved my soup though. Freggin delicious. It's this mexican soup simply called cheese soup. But, it has these amazing potatoes in it, and chicken broth and its slightly spicy. I could eat that every day. yuuuuummmm <3

Tomorrow, LeAnne me and my mom are going to see Eat. Pray. Love. and I'm super excited. I've been DYING to see a movie in a theater, since I wont be able to do it for a while.

Jazmine has totally taken over the house again. Little brat.

Friday, August 13, 2010

When I grow up--I wanna be famous..

The perks of being pregnant include many things :
  • Eating crazy things without judgement
  • Gaining 30lbs and people thinking it's cute
  • Being able to cry and people just say "awww-hormones...poor thing"
  • Being able to snap at someone and they just say "awww hormones...poor thing"
  • Buying new clothes for 9 months, and no one can say you're being selfish
  • Being in a FREAKING COMMERCIAL!!!!

Yeah that's right-- I'm in a commercial today. :] It's for the air national guard (which I really am not a fan of, because they think they're such bad asses, but really? they're wusses ).
My little friend Monica cracked me up..."Join the ANG--we'll take ya even if you're knocked up!"
but no...
I'll just be posing as a patient. They're wanting to promote people to join, and become nurses.
I've gotta say-- if I ever were to become a nurse? I'd be a OB nurse. I think that would be fun to see pregos all the time. We're really such lovely people. haha... mostly.
I'm so thankful (even though I feel huge and have gained freggin 30lbs) that I'm not one of those preggos that let themselves go--I still get up and ready every day. I can't imagine not doing that.
And more importantly, I FEEL good. I feel so awful for the girls that go through 9 months of feeling like shit... I'm so glad I'm so lucky. I might have a shit load of problems during the pregnancy-- but nothing to do with the pregnancy.
Although I gotta say-- the director of the commercial asked me to bring my husband. Or boyfriend. Or whoever made the baby with me.


um. I lied...I said he was deployed.
It's just so much easier to say that than to say: "oh no sorry, he decided he hates the idea of being married, and didn't want me to move back there to ky with him but hey! Good news is, I can pose as your little prego in your commercial, so please don't feel too bad for me, because really? he's a huge douche bag and I dont want to be out there anyway, even though I cry all the time about it, because even though he's a total shit bag, I still love him."

yeah... lying? It's an awful thing to do. But sometimes, I feel like it's just better than unloading at unexpected strangers. Anyway, because of that, I recruited my friend Matt...
I have a feeling that's going to be awkward but--oh well.

Also? I need to find a freggin car. STAT

Saturday, August 7, 2010

33 weeks. I think.

Swollen feet. Not fun.

Silly nails with my sister. Fun.

Buying "udder" cream because I couldn't stop laughing in Safeway. Fun as hell (also? I hope it works on keeping my stomach less gross).

Maternity Dress. Amazing.

Not seeing my feet? Not amazing.

Telling everyone my boobs wouldn't get any bigger and then being TOTALLY FREAKING WRONG. Not cool. These bad boys are hard to contain now-a-days.

Huge tummy-hard to support. I'm thinking of buying a support band. Seriously. I'm in pain with how big I am. And I still have 39 days.

I never thought I'd be able to wear tank tops out in public. But now I'm just too damn hot to care.

All in all, things are going well. My feet hurt like a mo fo though.... And I sweat like a fat man. But other than that, things are good. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! 39 days... I can't believe that... 39 days until my world is forever changed.

On a good note, Diapers at Safeway are only $5 for the mother to mother brand, which I think I'll be using, because they're "organic" and I like that. Plus? They have them overstocked, adn they're hella cheap.woohoo for that.

I want to finish the nursery, but I am hesitant to do so, because it seems so final. I'm freaking out! I want help. Like, this should be a shared experience. I dont need anymore help putting anything together, or anything like that-- but I jsut want to be able to share this with someone... do it with another person.
I'm never really angry with LJ for not wanting to stay together. He had his reasons.. but its times like these where I get mad. He robbed me of the full experience-- so for that, I'm mad. I want to hit him in the face with a shovel sometimes.

I'm totally taking pictures of the baby in Ohio State gear while he;s deployed, and only emailing him those pictures.